A Trophy Just For Showing Up

This is a subject that has been talked about for years. Should every child get a trophy/award just for showing up, win or lose? I am going to base this blog on my own personal experience. I am like every other child out there, I want to win, no one likes to train at something for months to walk out there on the field, mat, etc., and walk away not victorious. With that being said, I do not want to walk away with a pity trophy either. I want to know that when I step off the mat I won that trophy, I worked hard to win that trophy, and it was not just handed to me so that my feelings would not be hurt.

I was at a Martial Arts tournament about a year ago. I stepped on the mat and faced several oppenents that were better than me that day. I placed fourth in that tournament. There we were all lined up waiting for our names to be called, they called out the third - place winner, he walked up and received the award that he had earned. Then came the second - place, then the first - place winner. I am standing there, not happy that I lost, but happy for the other three boys that came out victorious that day. In my mind all I am thinking is I need to train harder, every second of the match is running through my head. What could I have done different, what do I need to do next time. That's when it happened. The judges are calling my name. I look around trying to figure out what is going on. I walk up and bow, then one of the judges picks up a third - place trophy and pulls the plaque off of it. He hands me the trophy and says "This is a special participation trophy, thanks for coming out". At that moment I wanted to disappear. I wasn't embarrassed that I had lost, or that someone was better than me, I was embarrassed that they thought I could not handle losing.

To this day I have that little trophy with no plaque, it sits front and center among all of my other trophies. Each time I look at that "pity" trophy, it makes me want to work harder. I never want to be the kid that walks off the floor with people saying "Bless his little heart". I know the judges thought they were doing the right thing that day, and I appreciate that they cared about my feelings, but you have to know what it feels like to lose, to appreciate how it feels to win.